Ian JohnWhat is your choice of poker headwear? Have you even thought about what you put on your bonce before you play?
It is a reasonable question to ask. Poker is a game of information and everything at the table that you do, conveys information.
Yep, that includes what you choose to wear on your head.
Of course, this is more of a topic for players that play in bricks and mortar casinos, or home games or similar.
It doesn’t matter what you wear on your head if you are playing online, with no webcam on, at bet365 Poker or similar!
So outlined below are our amateur (and very tongue in cheek) psychological profiles of poker players, based on what headwear they don at the table!
What Your Poker Headwear Says About You!
Cowboy Hat
- Inspired By – Wild Bill Hickock, Amarillo Slim, Doyle Brunson, Clint Eastwood
- Most Likely To – Doff their hat when they land a decent win.
- Least Likely To – Admit they are a bit hot at the table.
- Favourite Drink – Whisky on the rocks.
- Musical Taste – Both types – Country and Western
So you are a poker traditionalist. You’d be happiest playing in a saloon, with a cigar in your hand, a whisky on the table, and various bearded, unwashed good-for-nothin’ cowhands as your opponents!
The cowboy hat has been donned by many over the years but perhaps it was Doyle Brunson who made it de-rigeur in poker circles.
Wearers will be American, probably hail from the south, and generally have pretty good table manners, unless you upset them!
Then all bets are off and it could be a shootout at dawn. Or in Dan Cates case, he may just knock over your chips.
Poker Room/Site Cap
- Inspired By – Phil Hellmuth, Eric Persson, a Newly drafted NFL Player
- Most Likely To – Smile when they take your money.
- Least Likely To – Admit defeat graciously.
- Favourite Drink – Bitter
- Musical Taste – Leonard Cohen, Pink Floyd, Morrissey
One of the most common forms of headwear is the poker cap, often featuring the name or branding of one of the players main sponsors. Some players choose to wear it peak forward in the conventional manner. Others turn it around as they are edgy!
For some, like Phil Hellmuth, a cap is required to keep a lid on their ego. For others, it’s simply for them to be a walking, talking advert for their sponsors.
Cap players don’t take defeat well, so don’t expect any back slapping if you win.
Wacky/Unusual Cap/Hat
- Inspired By – Dan Bilzerian, Qui Nguyen, Elton John
- Most Likely To – Go all-in holding 2-7 offsuit against top pair.
- Least Likely To – Be humble.
- Favourite Drink – Any cocktail with a vaguely risqué sounding name and that is at least three different colours.
- Musical Taste – Madness, B52s, Any Eurovision Song Contest entrant from Scandinavia.
From Mickey Mouse ear bobbles, to native American head-dresses, to crazy caps, straw hats, boaters and more. Poker players who like to be a bit wacky will advertise the fact with their headwear.
These are the players who play fast and loose. They’ll go all in with hands that everyone else will muck. They’ll joke and muck about at the table. They’ll catcall opponents and try to put them on tilt.
You know, they are the poker player that nobody wants on their table, but who you are saddled with from time to time.
Hoodie
- Inspired By – Phil Laak, The Unabomber, Your friendly neighbourhood stalker.
- Most Likely To – Steal the chips from the person that is sat next to them
- Least Likely To – Communicate verbally beyond a series of grunts.
- Favourite Drink – Anything they don’t have to pay for.
- Musical Taste – 2Pac, 50Cent, PDiddy,most rappers to be honest.
Phil Laak has a lot to answer for. He styled himself on Ted Kaczynski, more infamous as the Unabomber, and his hoodi-ness has seen many other poker players adopt a similar look.
Your typical Hoodie wearer is quiet, and often tries to cut themselves off from others at the table. They may even double it up with headphones and/or sunglasses. In the belief that the less people see of them, the less they will give away.
Dangerous, edgy, imbued with mystical powers? Maybe not. But a hoodie wearer may well hope that you will think that they are to give them an edge.
Sunglasses/Shades
- Inspired By – Stu Ungar, Scotty Nguyen, Fonzie
- Most Likely To – Say “Cool” at the table.
- Least Likely To – Admit that they can’t see anything with the glasses on.
- Favourite Drink – Vodka, on the rocks, shaken, not stirred, with a twist of lemon.
- Musical Taste – Stevie Wonder, Elton John, Roy Orbison, Ozzy Osbourne, Snoop Dogg
Shades are cool. They are the currency of coolness. Just look at anybody who is anybody from almost any walk of life and if they want to up the cool factor, on go the shades.
Shade wearing poker players like to cover their eyes incase dilating pupils give their innermost thoughts away. Even if that means they need to use braille to identify their cards in some of the darker poker halls.
But hey, don’t mess with Mr Cool. Well not until they are eliminated and the shades come off.
Earphones
- Inspired By – Ali Imsorivic, Phil Ivey, One of the Lobots from Empire Strikes Back.
- Most Likely To – Say “What was that again?” the most at the table.
- Least Likely To – Admit they are listening to the Nolan Sisters.
- Favourite Drink – Anything flat and quiet. Like Water, or Coffee, or Iced Tea
- Musical Taste – Daft Punk, Any DJ Produced Song
Distractions are key in poker, and other players making audibles, or simply trying their luck at the ‘talking game’ are one way to quickly end up on tilt, or making bad decisions.
Hence some players use earphones and there are even tournaments where players are forced to wear earphones to play.
To me, it looks a bit rude. Almost as if you are too good to join in the table banter. But some big players use headphones from time to time. Usually when Phil Hellmuth is at the table and on one of his whines.
Bald Head
- Inspired By – Bryn Kenney, Eric Seidel, Bruce Willis, Captain Jean-Luc Picard
- Most Likely To – Need sunscreen applying to their head.
- Least Likely To – Complain about the glare from another players head.
- Favourite Drink – Lager, Lager and another Lager
- Musical Taste – Moby, Hot Chocolate, Seal, Billy Joel, Phil Collins
For the ultimate in cool, why not go full Captain Picard with the bald pate?
Certainly, it can be good for flashing light into the eyes of your opponent. You’ll be cooler but also, the downside is if things are getting nervy and the sweats come, your shiny bonce could be a giveaway.
Still a bald head is quite intimidating and as you can see, it has been the look for many top players in recent times.
Beanie Hat
- Inspired By – Jason Mercier, Footballers training on a cold day, The Edge, Cartman
- Most Likely To – Write a rap song about their poker journey
- Least Likely To – Forgive someone they feel disrespected them.
- Favourite Drink – Volcano-filtered water
- Musical Taste – Eminem, Gregory Porter, Justin Bieber
Poker players wearing beanie hats tend to be more thoughtful. The heat from the hat echoing back through their cranium into their brain. This can mean the brain overheats at time, causing sweat to form, which can be a great way to fool people into thinking you have a strange tell.
Insular, untrusting and someone that is unafraid and unapologetic, the poker beanie wearer is not someone to be trifled with.
However, whip their beanie hat off and flush it down the toilet and the famous garment loses all mystical powers.
Play Without A Crown at Bet365 Poker!
Remember, you don’t need to wear anything on your head to play online at bet365 Poker!
You could even play in the bathroom, or in bed, though we wouldn’t advise it!
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